Imagine a world where you could confidently walk into any social situation, without having to worry about what others think of you. Imagine being able to speak up in meetings, give presentations and make new friends without feeling anxious.
This is possible, but only if you are willing to step outside of your comfort zone and challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs.
One of the best ways to do this is to conduct what’s called a “behavioural experiment” in CBT language. We just call them experiments and you can design and carry them out yourself. It is a way to test your negative thoughts and beliefs and to see if they are really true.
When you join a WalkTheTalk group and you feel ready, you can try this as your first experiment, in the safety of a group session.
Part one (before)
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Directions
- Choose a topic that you are comfortable talking about in front of your WalkTheTalk group for a few minutes or ask a member if they’d be happy to have a conversation with you for the purpose of this experiment
e.g. A two minute introduction into what I do each day at work - Identify your safety behaviours for this situation, just like you did when you created your map. What are the things you do to reduce your anxiety in social situations?
e.g. When I speak in front of a small audience I write out what I’m going to say and practice it in advance to make sure I don’t make any mistakes - Write down your predictions. What do you think will happen? What do you think you’ll come across like?
e.g. My heart will pound, I’ll come across boring, People will yawn and look away, I’ll not be able to finish as I’m so nervous, I’ll miss words, I’ll feel anxious, I’ll blush, I’ll use my safety behaviours - Give each prediction a score from 0 to 100, with 0 being you don’t believe this statement at all and 100 meaning it will certainly be the case.
e.g. My heart will pound (90%), I’ll come across boring (80%), People will yawn and look away (60%), I’ll not be able to finish as I’m so nervous (80%), I’ll miss words (80%), I’ll feel anxious (100%), I’ll blush (60%), I’ll use my safety behaviours (60%) - Now either speak for a few minutes on the topic you selected or have a short conversation with the member, but make sure you adopt all of your safety behaviours and focus your attention inward on your own thoughts and feelings – i.e. what you might ordinarily do when feeling anxious in a social setting.
- Now take some time to reflect on what happened. Did your negative thoughts and beliefs come true? How did you feel?
Part two (after)
Directions
- Now repeat the experiment – the same topic or a different one, the same member or a new one. This time, drop your safety behaviours completely and focus outwardly on your audience.
- Afterwards, take some time to reflect on what happened. Did your negative thoughts and beliefs come true? How did you feel?
- Write down how much you believe each original statement now, using the same 0-100 scale. Compare your confidence scores from the two experiments. Was your prediction correct? What would you say to yourself now to remember this moment?
e.g. My heart will pound (70%), I’ll come across boring (40%), People will yawn and look away (10%), I’ll not be able to finish as I’m so nervous (20%), I’ll miss words (20%), I’ll feel anxious (70%), I’ll blush (10%), I’ll use my safety behaviours (30%)
No-one looked away or yawned. I felt nervous to start with but less throughout than in the first experiment. I didn’t miss words as I didn’t prepare. I maybe could have said one or two things I missed out but that’s ok. I didn’t feel like I was blushing!
Note to self: it really isn’t bad! In fact although more nervous before it was actually much easier and flowed better. Remember this for future situations!
Not convinced the effects weren’t just down to practice? Try the first part of the experiment again.