You got the job. You can do the work. But the moment someone suggests a team meeting, or your manager asks you to present something, or a colleague drops by your desk for a chat – something in you just closes down.
It’s not about being bad at your job. It’s about what happens to your brain and body the moment you feel like you might be observed, judged, or caught out.
Social anxiety in the workplace is one of the most common – and least talked about – ways this kind of anxiety shows up. Work is full of exactly the situations that tend to trigger it: being put on the spot, having to speak up in groups, navigating small talk, being evaluated. For most people, those things are mildly uncomfortable. For someone living with social anxiety, they can feel genuinely threatening.
What social anxiety at work actually looks like
It’s rarely dramatic. It doesn’t usually look like panic attacks in the corridor (though that can happen). More often it’s quieter than that:
- Spending the night before a big meeting running through every possible version of it in your head
- Going quiet in team meetings even when you have something useful to say
- Dreading the phone ringing, and letting calls go to voicemail wherever possible
- Overthinking every email before you send it – then overthinking it again after
- Avoiding the kitchen when you know certain colleagues will be there
- Saying yes to things you don’t want to do because saying no feels riskier
- Feeling utterly drained by the social demands of a normal working day
None of these things look like “a problem” from the outside. You might come across as quiet, or conscientious, or private. But inside, a lot of energy is going into just getting through the day.
Why work is particularly hard
Work is difficult for social anxiety for a few specific reasons.
First, the stakes feel real. In a social situation you can leave, you can avoid, you can opt out. At work, you often can’t. There are real consequences – to your job, your reputation, your relationships with colleagues – that make avoidance harder to pull off and the anxiety louder as a result.
Second, work involves a lot of performance situations – presenting, speaking up in meetings, handling appraisals – where the fear of being judged or found lacking is at its most intense.
Third, there’s often an expectation to just get on with it. “Everyone gets nervous in meetings” isn’t the same thing as what you’re describing, but it can be hard to explain that to people who haven’t experienced it.
Safety behaviours at work
Safety behaviours are the things we do to protect ourselves from the worst case happening – and at work, they’re everywhere. Over-preparing for meetings. Writing scripts before phone calls. Positioning yourself on mute in video calls. Sitting near the exit at team away days.
These things make sense. They reduce anxiety in the short term. But they also tend to confirm to your brain that the situation was dangerous and needed managing – which keeps the anxiety alive for next time.
This isn’t a reason to feel bad about doing them. It’s just useful to notice them, because noticing them is the first step toward gently testing whether they’re actually necessary.
What can help
Telling someone. You don’t have to announce it to the whole office. But telling a trusted manager or HR can open up options you didn’t know were there – adjusted ways of working, flexibility around certain tasks, just being understood rather than written off as difficult.
Small experiments. CBT for social anxiety often involves gradually testing out the things you avoid, in a controlled, manageable way. At work that might mean speaking up once in a meeting – just once – or answering a call you’d normally let ring out. Not forcing yourself into the deep end, just nudging the edges slightly.
Separating the thought from the fact. Social anxiety tends to generate very confident predictions: “everyone will notice,” “I’ll say something stupid,” “they’ll think I’m incompetent.” These feel like facts. They’re not. Gently questioning them – what’s the evidence? what actually happened last time? – can create a little breathing room.
Connecting with people who get it. One of the most quietly helpful things is just talking to other people who understand what this feels like. Not to fix it, but because isolation tends to make anxiety worse, and the opposite also tends to be true.
A note on getting help
If social anxiety is significantly affecting your ability to work – or your enjoyment of it – it’s worth speaking to your GP. NICE guidelines recommend CBT for social anxiety disorder, and you can also self-refer to NHS Talking Therapies in most parts of England without needing a GP referral first.
Waiting lists can be frustrating. In the meantime, peer support is something you can access right now. WalkTheTalk runs small online group sessions every Monday at 8pm – a low-key space to connect with people who’ve been through similar things at work and elsewhere. It’s free, there’s no pressure to share more than you want to, and a lot of people find it helps just to be in a room where they don’t have to explain themselves from scratch.
One thing to try
Pick one small, low-stakes thing at work that you’d normally avoid or over-manage – answering a question in a meeting, making a brief phone call, saying hello to a colleague you usually walk past. Do it once this week. Not because it will be comfortable, but just to see what actually happens when you do.
The result is usually less catastrophic than the anxiety predicted. That’s the beginning of something.
FAQs
Should I tell my employer about my social anxiety? That’s a personal decision, and there’s no right answer. Some people find it genuinely helpful – it can open up accommodations and take some pressure off. Others prefer to keep it private. Your GP or a Citizens Advice bureau can help you understand your rights if it has a long-term impact on your daily activities.
Can you work with social anxiety? Yes – many people do, including in demanding jobs. Social anxiety doesn’t mean you’re not capable. It means certain parts of work take more out of you than they do for other people. With the right support – whether that’s therapy, peer connection, or workplace adjustments – a lot changes.
Is remote working better or worse for social anxiety? It depends on the person. For some, working from home removes a lot of the daily triggers – open plan offices, impromptu conversations, commuting – and feels genuinely easier. For others, the reduced face-to-face contact can increase anxiety around the situations that do come up (video calls, big team meetings) because there’s less regular practice. Neither is automatically better. What matters is what works for you.
What if my anxiety is affecting my performance reviews or career progression? This is worth taking seriously. If anxiety is stopping you from showing what you’re capable of – volunteering for things, speaking up, building relationships at work – it can quietly hold back your career in ways that are hard to unpick. Getting support – through therapy, peer groups, or workplace conversations – isn’t just about feeling better. It can genuinely change what becomes possible.